GETTING MARRIED
AT ST. MARY
Matrimony is one of the two sacraments of service. Married couples promise to serve each other with love and to serve the whole Church. They enter into a lifelong covenant of love. This is their vocation. They serve the Church by their love and they share in God’s creation in a special way when they give birth to children. In Matrimony, God gives a man and woman the special grace and blessings to build a Christian family together. The Church celebrates the call to love in a special way in the sacrament of Matrimony or marriage.
The Sacrament of Matrimony, whereby a man and woman are joined together in a life-long union of procreative love, is a calling from God. The creator established this purpose from the very beginning by the very manner in which He made men and women. Jesus taught that the nature of marriage itself reflects the indivisible unity of the love of God. In this way, Jesus raised the natural bond of marriage to a supernatural sacrament of life and love.
The movement toward this life choice, the union of marriage, is, therefore, a moment requiring careful deliberation and spiritual preparation. The parish staff should be contacted at least six months prior to the desired date of marriage so appropriate arrangements and preparation can be made 740-363-4641. Individual sessions with the parish clergy and attendance at a Pre-Cana session are required for marriage. If one or both partners have been married before, the couple can work with someone on the staff to receive an annulment.
The Sacrament of Matrimony, whereby a man and woman are joined together in a life-long union of procreative love, is a calling from God. The creator established this purpose from the very beginning by the very manner in which He made men and women. Since God created man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves humanity. While the Old Testament gives witness to this loving union, the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament give ample evidence of Jesus’ desire to raise this union to a new level of meaning. While in the old covenant the possibility of breaking this union by a decree of divorce is in evidence, Jesus pronounces new teaching. In Matthew 19:3-12 Jesus teaches, “whatever God has joined no man must separate.” Jesus clearly has a new teaching on the nature of marriage itself, it reflects the indivisible unity of the love of God. In this way, Jesus raised the natural bond of marriage to a supernatural sacrament of life and love. The movement toward this life choice, the union of marriage, is, therefore, a moment requiring careful deliberation and spiritual preparation. One of the parish priests should be contacted at least six months prior to the desired date of marriage so appropriate arrangements and preparation can be made.
St. Mary Marriage Guidelines
Download our Marriage Guidelines
This PDF includes all you need to know about getting married at St. Mary Church, including forms and logistics.
Wedding Forms
The following forms will help you plan your wedding. The priest or deacon working with you in your wedding preparation will gladly answer any questions and assist you in completing the necessary forms. All required forms are available through the packets which are made available to our couples. The following may be helpful in assisting in your planning.
Guest Celebrant Form
This form is to be used by any celebrant other than a priest currently assigned to St. Mary. This form will help us at St. Mary know who is responsible for the necessary wedding preparation for the couple.
Ceremony Selection Form
This form includes all the selections of the prayer texts and scripture texts to be used in your wedding. It may be very useful for you and the minister officiating at your wedding celebration.
Music Selection Form
This form will help identify for you possible musical moments in your wedding celebration. It may help you and your music ministers to plan the wedding music.
Wedding Liturgy Planning
The Wedding liturgy should be planned with the priest or deacon who will be the official witness of the church at your wedding. He will help you to prepare a ceremony that speaks of your love united in the love of Jesus Christ. The following will assist you in this planning.
Preparation of the Wedding Liturgy
The wedding liturgy has two forms, either a wedding within the Mass or a wedding without the Mass. It is presumed that the former is the normal manner of celebration when both the bride and the groom share our Catholic faith. The option for a wedding without Mass is preferred when either the bride or the groom do not share our Catholic faith. In this way, the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage, a sacrament of unity, will not be followed by a sign of disunity—only a portion of the invited guests being able to participate in the Sacrament of the Eucharist. It is understood, furthermore, that when the Sacrament of Marriage is celebrated between a Catholic and an unbaptized person that the rite of Marriage without Mass is the proper manner of celebration.
Readings for the Wedding Ceremony
The Liturgy of the Word, a proclamation of the Sacred Scriptures, is a major part of any wedding ceremony. The wedding Mass or service would normally have four selections from the bible in this order:
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Old Testament Reading
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Responsorial Psalm (normally sung)
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New Testament Reading (other than a Gospel reading)
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Gospel Reading
The Ceremony Selection Form will guide you through the process of selecting the scripture readings as well as the other major texts to be used at your wedding. These selections include all the possible choices for prayers at the wedding ceremony and the wedding Mass. Please mark your choices on the Ceremony Selection Form. Any questions in regards to these texts can be put to the minister helping you to prepare your wedding day.
Music
Music that is selected for the ceremony in a church, before, during and afterward, must be appropriate to the sacred character of the wedding liturgy. Therefore, all music to be used in the church must be of a sacred character; show tunes, love songs, popular music and the like, while perhaps very eloquent in its evocation of the meaning of love and commitment, will be more appropriate for the celebration at the reception following your wedding liturgy.
Please review the Wedding Music Planning Guide.
The Director of Music will help you make suitable musical selections for the wedding liturgy and assist you in completing the Music Selection Form.
All music for weddings must be approved.
Wedding Music
Initial Contact with the Director of Music
Once you begin your marriage ceremony preparation at St. Mary Parish, contact the department of music to schedule a meeting and begin the music selection process. You may contact the Director of Music to schedule an appointment.
The Marriage Ceremony, whether celebrated within Mass or alone, is a sacrament of the Church. The music chosen must appropriately fit the seriousness and joyful spirit of the covenant proclaimed. The ceremony requires certain standards that must be upheld. Popular and or secular music such as Broadway, film music, top 40 songs, and or taped music will not be considered. This general policy extends itself to vocal and instrumental music performed during the pre-wedding recital, Communion, Meditation, Postlude, etc. For instance, The Wagner and Mendelssohn wedding marches, associated with secular plays and operas, will not be performed. St. Mary Parish asks that these customs and regulations be honored.
A Church wedding is not only a very personal event; it is also a sacrament of the Church. As such, the religious nature of the ceremony must be carefully preserved. However meaningful some music maybe to the couple personally, the principle that governs the sacredness and acceptability of the wedding music is the religious aspect.
With all due respect to other styles of musical expression, only liturgically appropriate music may be used at weddings. Popular and secular music, such as Broadway, film music, top 40 songs, and taped music (previously recorded music) is not appropriate for liturgical use in Church during the wedding ceremony. This general policy also refers to vocal and instrumental music performed during the Prelude, Communion Meditation, and Postlude, etc. All music, sacred or classical in nature, is to be approved by the Director of Music. The Wagner and Mendelssohn wedding marches associated with secular operas have not traditionally been used in the Catholic Church. St. Mary Parish would ask that you honor these customs and regulations.
The Parish requests that you also honor the tone of the liturgical season that corresponds with the date of your wedding. For instance, some types of music may not fit with the more subdued nature of the Advent or Lenten seasons of the Church’s liturgical calendar year. The Director of Music will guide you through these sensitivities as they relate to the liturgical calendar and will help you make suitable musical selections for the wedding liturgy and assist you in completing the Music Selection Form. All music for weddings must be approved by her.
Musicians For Your Wedding Ceremony
Ordinarily, the parish’s music director and organist serve as the primary musician for weddings. If there are any musicians you wish to play at your wedding, inform the department of music at the time of initial contact. In addition, consider having the musician(s) reach out to the department of music.
Day Of The Rehearsal
The director of music or other musicians may or may not be present for the wedding rehearsal. The purpose of the rehearsal is to familiarize the wedding party with the flow of the ceremony. As such, it is emphasized that the bride, groom, and any musicians meet with the department of music six weeks prior to the day of the ceremony.
Musician Fees
Fees are to be collected by the parish office. Fee schedules may be discussed with the department of music no later than 6 weeks prior to the ceremony.
Fees for instrumental or vocal musicians recruited by St. Mary Church from outside the parish music program will depend on prevailing customs and the rates of the individual musicians. The Director of Music can guide you in these at the time that you meet with her.
Fees for instrumental or vocal musicians recruited by the bridal party from outside the Parish are the exclusive responsibility of the bride and bridal party. St. Mary Church accepts no responsibility for payment of musicians recruited by the bride or groom.